a light within

Gurupurnima. Not just any other day in the year. As a kid, I never put too much emphasis on this day, even though it was celebrated throughout my life. (Funny, how this has been the true story of my life--finding value 20 years later). But, nonetheless, I have grown to appreciate this holiday and what it brings to our life. And I thought, why not revisit with all of you. 

​Here we go. Gurupurnima. 

Gurupurnima is an auspicious day where we honor the teachers and gurus in our life. The guides, mentors, individuals who have brought us closer to our goal, our path, our purpose. A day in which we honor those individuals who have brought light into our life. Who have given us a sense of self, cleared out uncertainties,  are/were a support in our life, and so much more to this effect. Growing up, I took this for granted. School came relatively easy to me, so there wasn't much to be said. I was basically born into a spiritual organization (for which I am immensely grateful today), so again I took that for granted. Argh. If I could go back and just hit younger Nishita behind the head. 

As I slowly enter into my mid-30's, this day brings me nothing but a heart full of gratitude and a face blemished with runny tears. My life has just been one lesson after another. The moments of anguish, anger, immense sorrow, joy, love--truly a roller coaster of emotions. I reflect back on the messy and amazing moments in my life. And lord I am just so freaking grateful. And I owe it to ALL of my teachers who have just shed light on what life is supposed to be like. How to maneuver through that roller coaster with grace and compassion for myself--> this would not have been the case if I wasn't exposed to the teachings that I have been. 

But what stands out the most is this. My Ayurvedic teacher, Dr. Lad, sharing this: that your true guru is within. Your true guru is yourself. Your true guru has always been with you, it's just a matter of us going within and searching. This little teaching, so simple, has continuously reignited my trust in not only myself, but the universe. That there is truly nothing else needed. That light is and always has been and always will be with me. Now, whether or not I see it, live with it, etc. is up to my sometimes dumb brain.

The answers are here. The love is here. The grace is here. The compassion is here. Literally everything is here. Can I anchor myself into that? Can I anchor myself with myself? If I can do that, then life just becomes a little bit easier and a lot more enjoyable. 

So today, I bow down to all those that have shown me the light. And more importantly, I bow down to my own light--the ever-present tether to divinity. 

thank you thank you thank you. 

May you find light and be light. 

much love, 
​n