february ending thoughts

February has come and gone like it always does. Concept of time makes no sense to me, as some things go by so fast and some things go by so slow. As I reflect back on this past month, I'm auditing all the places where I was compassionate and filled with love. How did I handle certain situations--was it with grace as I promised myself I would, or with annoyance and rigidity? I want to compare my actions with the intentions I set forth at the beginning of the year. 

And although I may not have won every scenario, I feel there were many that I did. Where I gave the benefit of the doubt, where I separated the situation and individuals from my emotions. Where I reflect back and think how silly I was to react in certain ways. Because ultimately, how important are these feelings of annoyance in the grand scheme of things? When I look back at my life, I want to remember all the love I shared with people in my life. I want to remember the moments of laughter and joy and pure bliss that I've seen and experienced glimpses of.

This past month, I'm proud of the moments I chose to take care of myself--you know, where I knew sleep was what my body needed. The past few weekends are the perfect example. I used to think naps were a waste of time--literally. How can I cram as much "productivity" into my weekends to maximize time? I realize now that those were just moments of acting in time scarcity. I'm cherishing the moments of slowing down and taking the rest my body is needing, all without the judgement that is piled on top of it. 

I'm thankful for the moments me and N spent time growing together spiritually--practicing collective internal reflections and meditations, finding our relationship filled with harmony. I feel really rooted in my practice--knowing there were more early mornings than those pressing snooze--and ultimately realizing that the vital energy to just get up and do is already within me.

I made a lot of desserts--a lot! I'm happy that I've carved out time to do things that fill my bucket, being able to create and share a piece of my heart, because my love language is taking care of people, primarily through baking and cooking for my people. 

One of the most important things I look back on and realize is that those intentions that I spent coming up with in the beginning of January are sticking! I never thought that would happen. But, the more I spend time in moments of reflection and self-checking, I'm excited to say that it works. Rooting your being in a process of self-practice, personal inventory, and constant gut checks is what it takes to truly grow and move forward. 

This past month I can truly say that I partook in more laughs and smiles than tears and moments of regret. I could not ask for anything more. 

Here's to the next month of luck! 

much love to you all,
​-n